i felt like being lenient to myself and be a little ignorant ……. it is always being magnified as a huge annoyance to others …….

will others think about this to themselves?

it is difficult to have lived because of people …….. and it is also difficult to try living for ourselves

========= end of emo-ness =========

i think its time to have a change on this blog theme …….. i will do after i finish my obligations …….

i’m not the typical obedient student that lecturer would like ……… i use my time to the max and i have better things to achieve and explore  ….. that focus 100% on my studies

that sounds like a good excuse for skipping class eh? i can write that in future letters ehehehe ……….. but well i should quit the habit of doing my work till wee hours ( i really meant till 5-6am) and attempt to catch a quick nap and flee to class ……. i’ve grown older and i can’t seem to wake up in time anymore …….. hrrrrr

boooooook cover designnnnnn argh …… lots of skectches yet to be refined for selections …….. i need to hunt for old hard cover book to work some miracles ……… whatever the heck ……… I CANT WAIT TILL Y2 ENDSSSSS ……… god dammit

“When you sell a man a book,

you don’t sell him 12 ounces of

paper and ink and glue-

you sell him a whole new life.”

-Christopher Morley

yeah …… books sold to me are for past time purposes

read ….. and forget ……… i never remember stories …….. read just for the sake of reading

another night of sleep difficulty …….. light’s off and with bommie’s keyboard faintly lit …… i’m browsing on modern literature and slightly drifted on having a random recap on life …….

almost 3 months has passed for 2010 and I can’t wait till June comes …….. well be contented to live till the next day …….. so got a call from sis last night ….. arhem last last night i meant ….. mum dad and sis were doing some grocery shopping ….. well it was a little surprise to receive call from my family as they (well anyone knew me long enough) know that I hate phone calls, i hate talking on the phone ……. but it was ok for this once …… never heard from them for a while ……. dad’s doing well, mum is doing well, sis is working well and living well ……… am i ….. well? ….. しらない

so a random recap on past few months of 2010 …… how everyone will just appear at our place during cny as a respect to grandma ……… as years has passed there seems to be an increased on unfamiliar faces …….. cousin getting engaged, some brought their girlfriends and boyfriends ……. well that reminds me of how the question “Ah Huey …… do you have boyfriend?” pops out from everybody’s mouth …….. the greatest tension is from grandma where she’ll go “Ah Huey …… got Peng Yu or not?” ……. well peng yu means friends in Hokkien dialect but what grandma meant was boyfriend ……… ah ma ……. i got aloooooot of peng yu (as in friends) lo ….. well maybe i’m not really getting all the pressure yet ……… i’m only 24 …… the worst would be my sis ….. HAHAHAHAHA GOOD LUCK MAN!!! ……. well the impression to all our relatives is that she is the anti social naive selfish dead pan one ….. while i’m the friendlier version?? i hope that’s partly true? i don’t really know myself ……. and yes i still cant escape the the same question every year …… one additional one is “Ah Huey!!!! Why you so fat!!!” …… enough said

so whats so big deal about being in a relationship? while the peers around me was hyperventilating about hot guys from other team or school i’m still thinking of whats for dinner ……. as we grew past 18, it seems more legitimate (acceptable should be the proper word) for relationship ……. what am i thinking? …….. why la why must i study form 6 HAR HAR …….. and we grew past 21 ……. we are legal adults and some of my friends are even married ….. what am i thinking? …….. what shall i study next hrmmmm ……. and i’m 24 soon …….i’m thinking of earning more money to feed my materialistic ego ……ho ho ho

my answer to all relationship questions are about the same …… “never thought of it”, “not now”, “damn annoying”, “don’t need it” …….. and it seems that i’ll never get an encouraging reply “I use to say that, you’ll say those only when you’re single, when you’re in love you’ll see ….. ” …….. rite …… how stereotypical ……. how would you know? meaning you’ve failed to lived up what you say ……. you loser …….. well loser or not i’m not challenging myself here nor making a statement or a vow …… it will come naturally as it is ……. i don’t see theres a need for me to fight for my love, search for my love bla bla bla ……. i have better things to achieve in reality …….. like a very own crib filled with gadgets ……. *drools*

well I don’t think i’m qualified to even to even answer questions about relationship …… i’m not even ashamed to admit i’ve never dated, never had those puppy love thingy, never been asked out ……… when theres this one time this so-call hot guy from athletic team ever once ask me to be his girlfriend, my direct respond was “dude are you pulling a prank?” ……. the hypothesis would be either i have self-esteem problem or i’m just too dumb to realise

so humans …… stop pushing me about being in a relationship ….. i have better things to achieve in my life than allocating some time for another person which i actually don’t even have time for myself ……. i am not weird either ……. just happen to grew more interest in gadget than humans & emotions ………… i shall just answer grandma the next round ” ah ma, my peng yu is my computer …… can? ”

OK I’VE DECIDED ……… i shall buy that huge box of cheerios in Jaya tomorrow ……. thanks for this super long post for me to make a decision ……… お休みなさい

march is almost coming to an end …….. but  i foresee poorness ahead …….. life sux …… i can’t wait till y2 ends …… end of y2 means its SUMMER BREAK!!!!! GET MY HAPPINESS??!!! 3 god damn month of no-class-no-tutorial days!!!! …….. but i still need to work ARGH ………. well maybe a break of a week or 2? …… well that will cost me around 300bux of pay gone O.O ……… fml

my badly-beat-up-being-tortured ndsl ……. see the strap i got from korea 3 years ago ….. the gachapon snoopy i got from japan 1 yr+ back …… should i wait for new ds release? (not the dsi XL) or shall i just go ahead and get ndsi? i like the matte feel of ndsi …….. and i don’t mind reading japanese because getting the japanese version is cheaper?

i never did post about bommie …….. this is bommie ………. i officially hate the satin speck cover =.=

during sunday date …… their ritual take-pic-before-eat practice …… lol and i took a pic of them!!!

i din know about this till Laura told me as i unintentionally wore a pink shirt to tutorial today …… i fell for it and bought the ice cream …… jamoca almond fudge + tiramisu ……….. just because they don’t have macadamia nut ‘n cream anymore …….. i use to buy tubs of em during 31st LOL

poor.

ps : お誕生日おめでとう　。。。　健ちゃん　

I KENOT BELIEVE IT ……… freelance, part (but full) time job, project loads ….. how la how la i juggle all of them …… *whack sushi first before i continue fretting* ……. anyway was sort of researching on master degree ….. am i even qualified to pursue? …… think later …… one more year to go

i can’t concentrate on work …….. i kept zoning out and unconciously switch on the deep thinking mode where i look like a socrates marble statue …….. what am i thinking? I DON’T KNOW!!! ALOT OF THINKING GOING ON AND I’M NOT CLEAR OF IT MYSELF ARGHHH …….

I’m sleepy with blurry vision now …….. fml ……. 3 more hours of work lo …….. how?

did i type it correctly? ………. anyway ………. class at 9.30, going to work later, class on tuesday 9am where i need to crack head for dissertation topic ……….. and i can’t sleep ………… *sigh* whats wrong with meeeeeeeeeee

fine …… i’ll update to buy list and schedules =.= ……….. grrrrrr

============ edit ===============

cheated …….. to wake up early =.=

no class lo ……… 何これ。。。。。まあ。。。おやすみ！！！

as i mentioned earlier ….. or have i not? ….. yea i have this weird intolerance towards alliums …. neh RAW onions, RAW shallots, RAW garlic, leek and spring onions (scallion) …….. so i tried avoiding these stuff as much as i can but heck i was born and fed Malaysia fusioned Chinese food ……. well i just have to accept my fate eh? …..　しょがないでしょ。。。。

so ……. RAW onions is a big nono …. well if you get rid of the chemical thingy by cooking it its fine …… it only gives minor effect ……. i tend add garlic in everything i cook …… no garlic is so not ……. my grandma’s style of cooking ……… so anyway garlic …….. cook or not it still affect me but depending on the amount i consume ……… my WORST nightmare is spring onions …….. holy shit its totallty a killer …….. worst part is i’m an avid soup lover ……… and every soupy dish ala malaysian or chinese is garnished with spring onions ………. kill me …….. despite me stressing it NO SPRING ONIONS during every order ………. it will still come with a bowl full of it T^T ….. fml ….. i will have to end up wasting my time and straining my eyes showcasing my chopstick skills picking up every single bits of spring onions …….. not joking …… even small tiny bit is like sending a molotov cocktail into my digestive system ………

anyway yesterday I went to Pho Hoa to grab my dinner …….. as usual stressing during ordering ……. NO SPRING ONIONS ……. twice ……. i ended up with a bowl of pho ……. extra spring onion =.= …… OH FUCK MY LIFE ……. worst still there are alot of diced super tiny bits of spring onion!!!!!!!!! ARGHHHHH ……… i tried my very best to to pick up every single bit and even have to sacrifice the coriander cuz the spring onions are like sticking to the coriander leaves ……. fml ……. dude its my dinner lor ….. i’m freaking hungry and why must you do this to me T^T …… so i ended up unable to pick out every single bits and start whacking the pho …… big mistake ……. after dinner i had the worst 12 hours ever ………. everything went wrong for me ……. tummy bloat like I’m preggers, nausea, tummy cramps, diarrhea and my mouth smells like crap ……… fml seriously fml ………i felt like being murdered

so i wasn’t joking or making excuses just because i hate spring onions and other alium stuff ……. i don’t hate them and i don’t like them either …….. i’m just the kind that will just whack whatever that is food ……. i actually read up some articles where there are indeed some poor souls like me out there being alium intolerance and some even more serious allergy ……. well the point is …… majority of them is westerners ……… they don’t normally get creamy soup, noodle soup, broth or stew garnished with spring onions ……… well too bad for them is onions is one of the main cooking ingredients for their kind of cuisine ……. but onions doesn’t seems to be much of a problem as its normally okay after its cooked ………. I am an asian …… where practically everything is garnished with spring onions ……….. fml ………. please don’t ever let me see any pasta ala Malaysia with spring onions as garnishing …… i’ll scream ………

well …… accept the weird fact that i’m allium intolerance or not …….. please understand us people with this kind of weirdness …… well eventough we are normally being replied that its just some psychological matter or being diagnosed IBS …….. go die la

hrmm ……. this is actuallyt he first time i’m blogging using bommie

entering the third month of 2010 and life seems to be like a never ending crusade against bad luck ……….. life is at its usual mundane pace …….. i’m in my usual self ……… class and work is weighing like a jumbo jet plane on top of me ……… money level is depleting at a mad pace …… *sigh* when will it be when a wish will not forever be just a wish ………

i wish i’m just an apple ……….. a black one of cuz ……… a common but black apple ………. and a fuji apple too please

*smack self …. zoning out*

………. i want a bag ………. thats not a wish =.=

well trying not to jinx myself here …… getting a brand new 携帯 in October ……. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE is my only reaction ^^

can I still make it for my marc by marc tote? …… i wonder ……

but marc by marc tote vs keitai? ……….. keitai it is ^^ …….. and its gonna be white this time!!!! wheeeeee

don’t wanna reveal which model it is …… told you ……. don’t wanna jinx it ……. too excited now …….. did i mention bommie is here already? ^^