I think I’ve just had my brain cells FRIED watching 8 parts of this particular hideous inquest that happen to be stumbled upon during wee hours …………. OMAIGAAAAAAA

i think i watch too much crime and investigation drama and documentaries ……… well maybe its a skill for being able to beat around the bush repetitively to drive one nuts during a hearing

now i can fully understand the joke of how hell is full of lawyers ………. the epitome of manipulation …….. when a dog is said to be a cat ……. its a cat ……. omfg

now for some refreshment videos that doesnt require brain processing ……….

losing momentum in work and i start doubting and googling nonsense …… digging about the past ….. past that those poor souls i spent it together with trying to erase ……

the past has been a hell of a dare devil joy ride ……… filled with ignorance and naive-ness …… i dare say i’m not regretting it …….. the consequences of being really broke, at one point hiding like a fugitive and ended trying hard to live like normal beings …….. i really don’t understand how i can afford to scramble around creating trouble for the good and the bad ……… young and hot blooded i guess?? ho ho ho

life isn’t normal for me back then ……… it’s about taking risk and gambling with luck …… i call myself the unlucky one as i guess anything involving me would end up failing ugly ……. i would just think luck is just not flowing my way ……. i still believe in luck but i choose to believe luck is for others ….. not me ….. whenever i felt being lucky? well thats a bonus i guess?

messing around creating trouble (the bad way) back then has been a memory that will never fail to generate the mixed feeling of “what if”, sigh and anger …….. but now i never fail to smile at it ….. reminiscing how i actually behave back then ….. Some told me to forgive and forget ……… is forgive and forget the best solution? forgiving and forgetting is 2 different task that just wont sync for me …….. i forgive but i never forget ……… i forget but not necessarily i’ve forgiven …… a wound will heal eventually into a scar …… with the amount of care and treatment to the scar, a scar never fade away but instead being concealed tricking the eyes of others

I’ve grown out of it 85% atleast …… i am adapting well to be abnormally normal (what irony ohohoho) i can’t be truthful to swear i’ve forgotten OR forgiven ……. it’s not something bad to actually look back at the past …… as long as you’ve move out of it and with something great to look forward to

I’m at usual busy sans class schedule busy mode …….. when parents ask why aren’t i going back Penang since its my loooooooong break …… heh “busy la ….. need to work la …. loads of projects la ……..”

well partly true …… life haven’t got any easier while I’m still working my ass off for my lifelong prescribed supplement Vitamin M (heh~) ……. 2 weeks down and this 2 weeks i think i’ve just killed a record breaking amount of brain cells …….. thanks to some idiot humans ……. everything annoys me easily now ARGHHHHHH

So other than being busy with the things mentioned above ……. i have sooooooo many plans to fill up the time …… truthfully none is about holiday ……. its either more self fulfilling prophecy-ject for “future use” or earning more $$ ……. its kinda sad ……. no life ……. I don’t even have time for games …… yea where is my planned ndsi? ….. fml ….. plan got engulfed by the flame of poverty

so what makes you use the word busy (in proper ….. literally)? I use it all just because I’m bad at time management and I am greedy for own sweet time ……. hence my tagline ….. busy being lazy ….. ahhhh self fulfilling

is kinda difficult i can say …… but i think i did yesterday

my day off is kinda weird, wednesday and sunday …….. i’m begged not to take day off on saturday which is kinda sad i spent my weekend staring at lovey dovey couple pics of customers …….. as for wednesday initially was because i have 2 sessions of class and …… is that even a day off? and slowly its one session and presentation normally falls on wednesday and i got to sleep after that (consequences of perfecting projects till the very end and *koff*last minute-ness) and i’m left with only sunday ……… to catch up with friends or full force work on projects …… fail

so for once …… consolidation week and i took this opportunity to enjoy myself like woke up late and materials hunting and some shopping alone …… ahhh enjoyable …… it has been a while ……

busted allowance on groceries, project materials and a special priced shirt from topshop ….. damn i’m turning into a sucker of discounted items …… but it was an awesome find i should say ….. this is a season for me to save as flowery-english-sailor-light blue-denim-high-waist is so not my thing ……. except the wedges and espadrilles ohhhhhhh *loves* …… i end up without using my birthday discount voucher and after buying the shirt i got another RM25 voucher from the points collected …….. damn fated i should buy another item …… WHICH I CANT FIND A SINGLE ONE!!!! ….. need to visit more topshop or DP outlets …….. grrrr

I don’t normally enjoy my day off …… with calls from work and random email checking and rushing on projects (that i hate) ……. I’ll always dream about be doing something fun during day off but ironically if i ever have a day off i will normally lock myself at home and try catching up with sleep and starve cuz of laziness …… am i a happening person? NO

so one might say “time management problem, you should make some time for fun time” right ….. tell that to my old bones ….. and body system ……. they just wont cooperate …….. i can’t help it when everything is voting to just go home and rot when only one small part of my brain is thinking of having fun!!! …… so yeah conclusion is blame myself …….. i was only told to study hard and save money ……. missing out the play smart you see ……

looking forwards for more days just like this ……. <3

so what do you normally do during your day off?

thanks to moonchan for listening (reading) and accepting my rants ………

these days have been pretty rough for me ……. alot of time miscalculation, misinterpretation causing misunderstanding, and as for now? i think what i care most is to be condemned as a shallow person …… indirectly or not …… assuming or not …… i can’t seem to don’t care about it now

i am not intelligent, scholarly knowledgeable or even being a master of any sort of talent, i am not confident about the decisions i’ve made either ……. i may seems to be lacking of critical understanding and thoughts towards theory subjects …….. does that make me a shallow person?

自知知明？

for years experiencing the method of teaching/coaching where i was scolded for not doing good enough everytime and gradually it turns into criticism and being condemned as i grew older. Compliments are just once in a blue moon. this is where i learn to just get over it, being stupid so what? being dumb who cares? as long as i’m still happy with more peer-like learning method in future where i could be more appreciated with my opinions and view ……. i felt happy despite struggling for other modules, but why can’t i just enjoy that only miserable one?

i’ve grew just feel like running away every moment i’m criticised or any mistake made, i just felt like running far far away or just bury the whole damn thing where it can be gradually forgotten.

life and learning to live is such a difficult topic comprehend ………… forgive my incoherent-ness, i actually ran out of guts to write any further ……… well i guess no hard feelings is the only solution …… if toleration is the only good trait that i think i’ve got ……. and if this trait is judged just like a box of cereal? …… mine is half gone by now …… and its being snacked fast by monsters ……..

life is like a fill-in-the-blanks excercise,

we choose the article of our life,

we fill in the blanks,

we change the answer of some because of different possibilities.

in the end ……… we still get some answers wrong ……. *sigh*

yet another late entry on 2nd tutorial updates on Project 3 …… fml ……. and its yesterday …… and i’ve yet to have a conclusion on jobscope for each group members ………. and for 3 days in a row my morning is welcome by super super super bad gastric …….. yes people …… i have chronic gastric attack often …. which nothing helps …… so yeah thanks for your care and advice on seeking medical care …….. which the solution for me now is to pray hard it wont attack again T^T fml

so …… there has  been a twist of concept on our project direction …… from the initial idea of “the upperclass and lowerclass” to “cup with individual character just like KL city people” well something more specific i can say? but after series of discussion in a group things sort of getting a little messed up ….. so ITS TIME FOR SETTLING ON A CONCEPT ……… and i have to come out with a clear direction for groupmates T^T ……. so discussion during our tutorial session does help clear our minds and paths towards a more distinctive direction ….. thanks Mr Sean.

Conclusion is we will be using a series of object that are physically similar …… cup/mug which have a handle/an ear ……. they may come is different designs physically in terms of shapes …… but its time to add some spice to the mundane life of an ordinary cup! …….. a cup is just a cup as everyone knows what a cup is (duh?) ….. so the design concept will be sophisticated photography with hand drawn illustration to bring out the meaning of that is its us that are adding a character to each cup …… *will update with some reference picture soon* ……. and how an individual’s characteristic can be reflected base on how they use the cup …… wow a lil social psychology research needed here and there huh? ……

Design concept wise we have decided to go for a clean sophisticated yet fresh look. Playing safe on layout here T^T ………. but anticipate on what we can do for “fresh” ……

well Wendy and Zhen Kuan is a little lost in intepretation of the idea …… but its ok will search on for some reference and divide job scopes for everyone soon …… tonight ….. hu hu hu ……. i’m drowned with work freelance and ASSIGNMENTS ……. anyway I hope Krystal is ok? waiting for you to come back ya!!!

thats the end of it ……….. till next group meeting we are having Monday 10am. good for us =.=

and i’m hungry ………. for god knows what reason ……..

======= DYanalogy of the day =======

some customers are just like faulty annoying alarm clock …….. feel like smashing the shit out of them  =.= *clench fist*

ok this entry will mark the brand new entry of a new temporary category among my ….. categories *koff* ……. so the trend of an online journal to keep track of our project progress RETURNS!!!!! thus the existence of a new temporary category …… which i’ll figure out on pruning it when everything ends ….. FML

SO …… group work it is for project 3 ….. i hope Christmas mood doesn’t affect me much on the work contribution *sways dreamily along Christmas carols …. which i already did at work last night* …… hrmm 6 weeks in total for this project and minus the 2 koff should-still-work-on-project punya break …. to the exact its still a 4 weeks project ….. whatever it is … i still don’t have much time T^T ……. final FINAL essay due 8th Jan and project 3 due 11th Jan …… bravo ….. oh bravo

anyway ……. say hi to my groupmates for this project!!! Krystal, Wendy and Zhen Kuan (fellow penangite who miss penang food a lot wth) …… lets see i am paranoid over group work ….. bad experiences ….. but hope we will have a great time working together !!! well we actually started discussing about ideas in my car after lunch!!!

ok back to topic of “OH SHIT …. Project 3″ …… well according to the brief “it is essential for the purposes of assessment that you develop you blogs” …….. whats with the (s)? we are suppose to open a blog dedicated only to this project? ….. well i thought of that too …. but trust me i believe i’m not that diligent to manage both ……… so yeah ….. a dedicated category is good enough i guess? ….. well as for the other entry ….. *koffhackkoff* read at your own risk ok ….

well ….. the whole idea of personal-blog-&-journal thing is kindof dubious ….. but i guess we express our point of view on our personal blog with less boundaries? …. anyway just a side note ….. do not judge me by the way i express myself on my blog ….. well the most i could say is that this blog is my last resort to feel more humane on allowing myself to unload mental burdens …. take it or leave it.

SO NOW WHAT ??!! NO MORE CURSING LECTURERS OPENLY NO MORE BRAGGING ABOUT HOW I SMARTLY SKIP CLASS OR HOW I USE TO PLAY MY NINTENDO DURING LECTURES??!!! *oops* …… jk …….. my dear lecturers …….. *add in thousands of hearts unconsciously*

Dear Mr Sean, (if you are really reading)

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!
i should spend more time on my project than blogging right??!!
BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

cheers,
- TLH -

=== Analogy Of The Day ===

lecture today is about field guides and how we are told to see a mundane lifestyle of a thing in a different point of view …….. and how Mr. Sean always say …… think out of the box on relating stuff that are not related to each other to form a brand new perspective ……..

so i was staring at jian who sat next to me in class ……..

“Hey Jian ……… so something like ….. Mike Tyson and cross stitching?“